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Tim Hawkins - Atheist Kids' Songs

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Atheist megachurches exist. Do they sing worship songs? And what about children's church? Brand new from Tim's concert DVD "That's the Worst", available now at http://www.timhawkins.net/
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SK8ERBOY2025 (11 hours ago)
I am an A.. I am an A T.. I'm an A T H E I S T.. and I have N O T H I N G to give me hope and certainty and when i D I E I will be A L O N E HEY!
Nunya Bidness (1 day ago)
That last song was awesome.
Fan Person (2 days ago)
Me @ my children if I ever have any 😂 they're gonna hate me
Fan Person (2 days ago)
At 1:20 I really thought he was playing low by lund
peter (3 days ago)
Pretty funny.. I don't know of anything like an atheist megachurch though. It would make more sense to me as a hypothetical.
Brain_Dead (4 days ago)
Never been to or even heard of atheist church but if they sing these songs I would go
Vinny Thalhuber (4 days ago)
I had never heard of atheist megachurches before this. LOL!!!!
Greg Bowlan (5 days ago)
I'm an Atheist...really I am. I swear to God.
Shane Ellis (5 days ago)
Yeah, it’s a lot better to tell your children the biggest lie you can tell
2 1/2 Acres (5 days ago)
I don't believe in atheist!!!
Galactica Schuyler (7 days ago)
As an atheist I am ROLLING this is so funny
Karen Lee (7 days ago)
I don't know what to believe in. I need some sort of proof in front of me sorry but this was so stinkin funny
Karen Lee (7 days ago)
LOL ha ha ha ha ha ha. You gave me the best laugh ever. 😂🤣😀😆😃😄😅
Lynn Christopher (8 days ago)
We don't sing anything but lol
AdrienneAce (8 days ago)
CRAZY good! I wish I'd have sung these to my sons 25-plus years ago.
IsiahTomas (10 days ago)
I'd imagine a lot of underscores. Don't ask what key it'd be in. I don't know.
Ink Black (10 days ago)
This guy is too dumb to even know what atheism means. Oh well.....religious people are the caboose holding back the train of humanity. Hey Timmy.....next time you are very sick do NOT go to the hospital because that’s science. Instead just pray and you’ll soon see there is no god coming to help your ignorant cult ridden arse. If gods existed you wouldn’t be embarrassing yourself with terrible shite comedy for 9 yr brainwashed indoctrinated Sunday school mentally abused kids. I can also send you some funny real comedy regarding the millions of children raped in the name of your fairytale theist idol.
Ink Black (7 days ago)
Carter Sheldon Praying is as useless and meaningless as your imaginary toy god. Grow up.
Carter Sheldon (7 days ago)
Ink Black the main idea is that god has given man the brains and willpower to create the science we use as medicine. Praying for someone as well as getting them medical treatment is the best option for healing
Ink Black (8 days ago)
Ed Snorb Science disproves god. Next time you are facing a medical condition just pray. You will see there is no imaginary god coming to cure you. Religious people are the caboose holding back the train of humanity. You have been fooled, conned and indoctrinated into an absurd delusion. Grow up man.
Edmund Brons (8 days ago)
@Ink Black Definition of atheism from the Merriam-Webster dictionary: A philosophical or religious position characterized by disbelief in the existence of a god or any gods. All of Tim Hawkins' lyrics took Christian songs and replaced words for God with words meaning nonexistence, which is by definition accurate. Also, Christianity does not condemn science; Christians hold that God created science, and that it is in harmony with religion.
Carter Sheldon (8 days ago)
How exactly are religious people holding back the train of humanity? Millions of children raped in the name of Jesus, when? Ink black are you just mad that you didn’t get a speaking role in the children’s Christmas play. Or is Christmas a terrible construct?
Gabe Williams (10 days ago)
To each their own
HarryFrikenBomb (10 days ago)
1:42 best one
Casey Loveday (10 days ago)
Aithiests say there's no God. Soon God will say there's no aithiests
The good Lord (8 days ago)
No more Christians
Adelaide Nielson (11 days ago)
We should totally make these into full songs
HEAVYWALL 70 (11 days ago)
That was funny.
Keith Chamberlain (13 days ago)
"Nothing loves the little children..." Judging by the amount of them that die every day, neither does your god.... Sorry. Just had to squeeze one off... Atheists care...
chapmaned24 (12 days ago)
Christians care, too. Another one bites the dust! And another one gone, and another one gone...
Nihl Méhényte (13 days ago)
Hoping for the song on agnostisme! XD
bushbaby 78 (13 days ago)
I'm an athiest and this is fucking hilarious!!!! I was really hoping he'd cover "spirit in the sky" though
DredgeX97 (9 days ago)
Funnily enough, Spirit in the Sky isn't even a Christian song.
chapmaned24 (12 days ago)
Keep searching his name...he's got a lot of great parodies...Led Zepplin, and much more.
Warmage Two Crows (14 days ago)
Funny af though.
Warmage Two Crows (14 days ago)
Atheists go to university, not church.
Warmage Two Crows (11 days ago)
Yup yup. People are nuts.
chapmaned24 (11 days ago)
+Warmage Two Crows and some churches are pay to pray, pay to be in bondage. Calvinism.
Warmage Two Crows (11 days ago)
The US is pay to play, it seems.
Warmage Two Crows (11 days ago)
+chapmaned24 At least we can agree on that. Regardless of whether or not Christ is real that is one of the good qualities that came of it. I agree that everybody deserves redemption and the right to improve the quality of their life. Unfortunately that's not reflected in the US government. Oh well. *shrugs* Whatchu gonna do?
chapmaned24 (11 days ago)
+Warmage Two Crows well, I've studied for years. I don't interpret what you do. And, I only question the self righteous Christians. Not the Christians who continually stumble. A follower of Jesus was a prostitute. Today, the self righteous would condemn her just for being one. Even if it was her past. I'm not a fan of the self righteous. Jesus wants sinners, not those who THINK they are righteous.
AGDinCA (15 days ago)
Some of it is meant to offend. Some of it is disingenuous. All of it, still pretty funny... especially for those of us who grew up in the church! I remember each of those songs. By the way - where are these atheist megachurches? I've never even seen nor heard of an atheist minichurch, let alone what he mentioned - and I've been an atheist for many years now!
chapmaned24 (12 days ago)
Since Hillary didn't get to be president, FUNNY is illegal now. You could go to jail for telling a joke. The dude from Empire...he told a joke to cops. He is looking at a long time in jail.
Badbobcat (16 days ago)
I see dumb people. Look! It's the singing straw man.
chapmaned24 (12 days ago)
You must be a former Calvinist? They are all about STRAWMAN and Grits...Hominy in an advertisement about grits...an ad for hominy....oh, ad hominy. Or is it harmony? It's a great song. About a strawman, and a wizard. Brought to you by GRITS.
RandomWeeklyVids 2 (17 days ago)
bu-but what if I wanted to do the Rounds...😰😭
Arnold Caines (18 days ago)
Spot on!
christian mccauley (18 days ago)
Some of these pissed me off but most of them are funny. The only reason it pisses me off is because he doesn’t actually understand the view. But I especially liked the evolution one even though it was probably the worst offender
chapmaned24 (12 days ago)
I don't understand the VIEW either. Whoopi was great in the movies, but a real bitch on the VIEW.
Spaghetti O (18 days ago)
THIS IS GOLD
Zoe Bueche (19 days ago)
Athiest believe in god there just understanding are to lame to admit it smh dorks
Michael Evans (20 days ago)
An excellent example of how idiot Christians want to believe anything that doesn’t make sense. Have you ever seen an atheist church? Even a small one? Of course not, they don’t exist. Atheists are not joiners, they just don’t believe the bullshit called religion. There is one main atheist organization in America and the staff is less than 50 people. So a mega atheist church is as likely as a virgin mother or a second coming. Christians are so lame.
chapmaned24 (12 days ago)
I've seen SEVERAL Atheist church's. IT's called DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS. A game for nerdy atheists, with no college degree.
wokeil (20 days ago)
WHEN I D I E I WILL BE A L O N E
bones007able (21 days ago)
And there is the difference between atheists and Christians .... atheists can laugh at this stuff... but just imagine if he was making up songs about Christians.... they would be condemning him to a made up hell....
RandomWeeklyVids 2 (21 days ago)
is like an atheist church like where they teach you why NOT to believe in God or something. Im confused. Im a Christian so I wouldnt know, but all the atheists out there, help me out, WHY ARE THERE ATHEIST CHURCHES or am i correct on my theory
wcresponder (22 days ago)
Funny! Now do the songs of pedophilia in the church, and rape of nuns, theft of property, how songs of fairies and unicorns are imaginary but an invisible sky daddy is creepier than the NSA, CIA, FBI, and santa rolled into one. Pleease. Hell Christopher Titus has a great solution to pedophilia in churches.
waltonsimons12 (23 days ago)
Never heard of this guy, so I can't tell if he's trying to insult atheists or just being silly. Whatever the case, these are pretty funny. On a related note, one of my favorite jokes is an anti-atheist joke. An atheist dies and finds himself standing before God. Looking up towards the heavenly throne, he mutters, "Well, I'm be damned, there IS a god!" And God replies, "You're right on both counts." :-)
Stephen Morton (23 days ago)
no offense. none taken. (get it?)
likeisaid (23 days ago)
His voice is lovely...and that's some good humored song. The idea of Atheist Church is ridiculously amazing.
Dan F (24 days ago)
"That's what they're saying though." Comedy, often an excuse for ignorance and bigotry. Just because it is done in a funny manner doesn't mean it makes any sense. Both kind of funny, and stupid, don't get mad because some of it is stupid.
immasmashyourface (25 days ago)
It’s hard to make fun of people for being smart, informed, and science minded.
alvaro alas (25 days ago)
oooh atheists won't like this lol
Jeff Smith (26 days ago)
Yeah sure they exist... Where? I've not seen an atheist church, let alone megachurch. This is an entire comedy skit built to make fun of something that isn't real. It'd be like making fun of god, which also doesn't exist. Wait, we do have those skits, carry on I guess
Bennie Kahler-Venter (26 days ago)
Atheists are very dogmatic for people that supposedly does not believe in anything. They do make truth statements they cannot prove themselves - thus making it a pure faith movement and a religion.
immasmashyourface (25 days ago)
I don’t think you understand what atheist means. We believe in plenty of things. We just don’t “believe” stuff people say, about gods, without evidence. (There isn’t any) Any truth I state is scientific and provable. I might not have the equipment to prove it myself directly, but that doesn’t change the fact that many do and have proven it true. Religion doesn’t prove anything to be true with experimentation. There is no test or experiment that I ,or anyone, can do to prove what religions say.
arminius6661 (27 days ago)
What an unfunny, rather predictable religiotard!
JustANormalFreak (27 days ago)
Atheist reporting. I love it. I would sing these songs to my children haha
Kiana Max (1 month ago)
Savage. Love the songs.
Freddy Lopez (1 month ago)
it's so funny I forgot to laugh
Russell Reilly (1 month ago)
The only thing funny about this is he mentions logic. Which Christians obviously don't possess the ability to use haha
Tom warrick (1 month ago)
Religion can be funny or at least they can laugh at “others” but not so much themselves . Jesus saves at first federal....sperm bank... makes deposits daily...except on week-ends...when he blows his wad on loose women. god bless
Mark Durante (1 month ago)
As an atheist I go to church every week throughout lent. But it is for the fish and beer, less so for the whole soul saving bit. If it was acceptable to get plastered in the parking lot of a fish joint with several hundred people I'd do it there instead.
Rebe kah (1 month ago)
2919 anyone???
Elli e (1 month ago)
DONT YOU CHANGE “I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N” ....that’s my jam
Victoria Williams (1 month ago)
Love this
Timothy Robert (1 month ago)
hmm, I'm a christian and I find this intolerant and ignorant. It's very dismissive and a bit patronizing. I don't appreciate this kind of humor. I get that supposed to be funny, but it's obvious that Tim Hawkins believes these things he's singing, and isn't open minded to even the idea of being ok with people believing something he doesn't. To clarify, It's ok to believe what you believe, and share what you believe, but belittling those who don't believe the same thing is not ok.
Just sum guy (27 days ago)
Na dude its just a joke
Stuart Alexander (1 month ago)
Love 'im. He can cut through the B.S. with a laugh and a strum. That's a God-given gift, ladies and gentlemen.
KryoTronic (1 month ago)
LMAO at least if we had a church it would be an honest one 😂
Olaf Elsbeurry (1 month ago)
It's funny as fuck and I'm an atheist
Christiaan Duvenage (1 month ago)
one last thing then i won't comment here again ... if atoms created the universe then who created the atoms
Christiaan Duvenage (1 month ago)
atheists are ridiculous .... you want to find your own answer and denying a exiting God and trying to teach in science that there is no God and everything was just made out of nothing do you know how delicious that sound
Razar Raz (1 month ago)
I'm an atheist and I found this hilarious but couldn't help feel a little bit attacked😂😂😂
Rose Kennedy (1 month ago)
I lost it at “accidentally alive, if you’re weak you won’t survive!” 😂
Christiaan Duvenage (1 month ago)
the word say 2 Corr 5:17 that God will make you a spirituality new you won't be the same again you will stand unguilty before Him cuz your not a sinner anymore then
Christiaan Duvenage (1 month ago)
Tim God can't hear you cuz your sin is blocking your prayer to Him But He love you Tim and thats why He send His Son to die for your Sin you you can be forgiven you can be save of your sin He is righteous and He wants to forgive you of your sin all that you have to do is to repent and your sin would be forgiven and then you don't stand guilty before God anymore
Christiaan Duvenage (1 month ago)
the reason you don't believe Tim is because i know everyone they did grow up in a christian home something bad happen in your life and you walked away from God cuz He did something so bad in your life that you Hate Him
M Mill (25 days ago)
+Christiaan Duvenage Then you die wrong just like everyone. You can not say that there is a god because you have not seen one. If you do then you lie.
Christiaan Duvenage (1 month ago)
+Joms The Jom Theff and what if you where wrong and you die
Joms The Jom Theff (1 month ago)
Atheism isn't a hate of God? You can't something you don't think exists.
Christiaan Duvenage (1 month ago)
Peter said in the last day's there would be people that will make jokes about Him brother don't cry out to the Lord when you are left behind
Christiaan Duvenage (1 month ago)
Tim Hawkins i pray for you . that you come to Christ and take the blindness off your eyes
Christiaan Duvenage (1 month ago)
everyone that say that they are an athiest are a liar and well i just feel sorry for you people denying God's existence ...so people denying God's existence well your just denying Him because you Hate Him cuz of something bad happen in your life now your blaming God for everything that went wrong in your life ..... STOP LOOKING FOR YOUR OWN ANSWER IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU read The bible
Joms The Jom Theff (1 month ago)
+Christiaan Duvenage The heck is a human rise? A rise in what?
Christiaan Duvenage (1 month ago)
+Joms The Jom Theff the question is why is there a human rise
Joms The Jom Theff (1 month ago)
+Christiaan Duvenage The purpose of an object or concept is typically given by its creator, like a book, for instance, but since it is my belief that there is no creator, it doesn't have much purpose, other than what we give it. I'd say the purpose of life is to make the most of it.
Christiaan Duvenage (1 month ago)
+Joms The Jom Theff can i ask you a question what do you think the purpose of life is
Christiaan Duvenage (1 month ago)
+Joms The Jom Theff you believe or don't believe that's that ... you are denying God's existence because you don't want to believe cuz something bad happen in your life now your questioning God's existence question how can something be made out of nothing
H Lotha (1 month ago)
So terribly sorry for the atheists, just wanna let ya'll know that Jesus loves you anyway!
Elexis Adams (1 month ago)
Our pastor showed us this were the youth group at frost tx Baptist and we all busted do u come up with that on ur own
Some Random Panda (1 month ago)
I think this was meant to be offensive for us atheists. But I loved it! It’s just so funny 😂
Lea Kratz (1 month ago)
I'm a Christian and may I just say I love all these songs so much though, Tim Hawkins is the BEST. I sang all the original versions of these songs when I was little. But this is hilarious!! Me and my older brother and sister sang these versions all the time, "Power and majesty praise to NOTHING" "No one hears you when you cry no one hears your lullaby no one loves the little children of the world.." "Reason why reason why we exist no there's no reason why" "In your unbelief..." "Evolution this I know for Charles Darwin told me so accidentally alive if your weak you won't survive" "I am an A, I am an A-T I am an A-t-h-e-i-s-t , and I have N-o-t-h-I-n-g to give me hope and certainty And when I d-i-e I will be a-l-o-n-e" I LOVE IT
Michael Mellon (1 month ago)
That was funny.
Mihai Sorin (1 month ago)
It was Erasmus Darwin who came up with the evolution theory*
Your Mom (1 month ago)
As an Atheist, I find this brilliantly funny. And it’s even funnier for me to sing these songs, because I know I won’t be ultimately punished in the afterlife. Good work.
fighting28elf (1 month ago)
I’m an atheist, a former Christian, and as of today a big fan of Tim Hawkins. I’ve been binging his stuff all morning... He can’t win me back to Christianity without some verifiable evidence, but he’s extraordinarily talented and funny. Those familiar with the story of Samson should watch his ‘Delilah’ parody. Everyone can enjoy his ‘guitar meltdown.’ Much love.
1:22 DARWINISM
gordon ashworth (1 month ago)
I like it made me laugh still atheist
Demony (1 month ago)
oh yeah yeah
The Yakking Wakko (1 month ago)
I’m a atheist, and I find this hilarious
Comander (1 month ago)
Im Atheist, and i dont get it.
Geeky Turttle (2 months ago)
As someone who grew up religious and ended up atheist, I find this fucking hilarious😂😂😂
The Glass (2 months ago)
People who comment with "I'm an atheist but..." do you realize how cringe that is? You may as well be wearing a sign around your neck that says "I deliberately reject logic and reason and blatant truths that are instilled within my very nature". Like okay, congratulations?
SixPieceChicke McNobody (2 months ago)
Fuck yeah, God’s a dick
Eldon Carter (2 months ago)
‘Human shall all die due to natural selection since they are weak’ Now I am thinking about it, we’re still in the natural selection. Rich will conquer while poor will be gone. But the logic of ‘strong will survive and weak will extinct’ doesn’t necessarily apply in the modern world.
Allison Holly (2 months ago)
Lol! I got a good laugh, as always. Thanks Tim for giving us real humor that isn’t vulgar
(2 months ago)
Just so you know there are no atheist megachurches.
Micheal Owings (2 months ago)
😂😂😂😂 no offense taking here....that's FUNNY and that last tune is stuck in my head. 😂😂😂
Nolan Luther (2 months ago)
This is so offensive to Athesist's. Not funny at all. Nope. (Starts laughing) IGNORE THAT!!! Still offensive 😃😃😃😃 I'm not smiling no it's sti..😃😃😃😃 ahh screw it it's hilarious whether or not your an athesist
Brian Keith Null (2 months ago)
I'm also Atheist and I love this guy. He's really funny and sings very well. I can see this in country music awards.
V. C. (2 months ago)
These are like the bunny song from rack, shack, and benny.
Outside (2 months ago)
They're community halls. They just called it a church to piss off the theists
Alyssa Weicht (2 months ago)
Just as hilarious as when he makes fun of the different Christian denominations. It's hilarious XD
BOMBERDOG66 (2 months ago)
Do some folks actually think that an all knowing God would not have created evolution for his creations to be able to adapt to changes...Please!!
HANNAH HURLEY (2 months ago)
What type of friend would you like a zombie friend with no humor likes nothing eats grass and acts like a cow or at least has a unique audited . That is what God thought out he new the consequences but he loved us so much more than that.
SadieCat (2 months ago)
Watching while avoiding to do my summaries on biology chapters on evolution
Im An Introvert Artist (2 months ago)
That's exactly what we sing XD
Karen Pinson (2 months ago)
This is hilarious,

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