Videos uploaded by user “Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.”
If You Can't Avoid Toxic People: Neutralize Their Negativity
When there are toxic, hostile people in your life, best we avoid them, best we disengage when we find ourselves victimized by them. But if we can't avoid them, if we can't disengage from them, best we find ways to neutralize their negativity with our mind. http://amzn.to/v4Xx1q
Views: 218809 Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.
People Pleasers, Doormats & Self Esteem
It's nice to want to please people but if it is done excessively and to such a degree that you are taken advantage of and your own needs aren't being met, then it's dysfunctional and needs to stop. By understanding how you became this way, you can undo the negative self-definition and embrace your authenticity.
How To Let Go Of Ego, Anger & Negativity
Fully appreciate it is in your best interest to do so. Replace fear, judgment and anger with compassion, acceptance and forgiveness. Over and over and over again. Until it becomes a habit.
Why The Law of Attraction Doesn't Work For Most People.mp4
The Law of Attraction doesn't work for most people because despite what they consciously strive for, despite what thoughts they keep in the forefront of their conscious mind, despite all their proactivity, practice, persistence and perseverance, they have an unconscious program of self-sabotage that is running the game and keeping all of life's goodies that they desire at arm's length. The solution to this problem is to eliminate the self-sabotaging behaviors by eliminating what's causing them: unconscious guilt, shame, and self-loathing. How do we do this? By loving and forgiving ourselves. How do we do this? By loving and forgiving others. How do we do this? By consciously focusing on acceptance, tolerance, generosity, graciousness, gratitude, compassion, forgiveness, estimable acts of kindness and service to others. As we engage in these behaviors as best we can, unconditionally and without exception, every day and in every way possible, we send the message to our subconscious mind that we are good enough, that we are worthy of reward not punishment, and our subconscious mind then puts an end to the inner critic that influences us to sabotage ourselves, and it directs the Law of Attraction to work for us rather than against us, and we begin to manifest the life we desire. http://amzn.to/v4Xx1q
The Doctor Is Within - How To Heal Yourself
We have all that we need to heal ourselves on the physical, emotional, spiritual and material planes. And that is to express truth, compassion and calm in all aspects of our lives. Consistently. Persistently. Without conditions and without exceptions.... If you like this video, check out my book, "Forgive To Win!" at: http://amzn.to/v4Xx1q
How To Overcome Analysis Paralysis
Sometimes we think too much. We over-analyze to the point where we paralyze ourselves with doubts and we end up doing nothing for fear of making the wrong decision. At some point we've got to have faith in our ability to deal with the choices we make, even when the outcomes aren't what we hoped for or expected... If you liked this video, check out my book, "Forgive To Win!" at: http://amzn.to/v4Xx1q
Projection Is A Defense Mechanism To Avoid Taking Responsibility
We tend to judge others harshly for things that we ourselves do. Rather than hold up a mirror to ourselves and acknowledge our faults, we deny we're the problem and point the finger at others.
Happiness Is A Choice. Validate Your Self-Worth Yourself
Many of us define happiness by what we've got rather than what we've given. We tend to be happy if we are validated by the external world, whether it be with praise, a great job, a lot of money, etc. and we tend to be unhappy when the external world ignores us, rejects us, deals us a bad hand. It is a mistake to link our happiness with external validation or invalidation. It is better to link our happiness to the Truth of who we are, how we treat our brothers and sisters, our moral fiber. And to remember as well that no matter what has happened in the past or what might happen in the future, we have a choice today to be happy or not. It's a matter of attitude and gratitude.
How To Deal With High-Conflict People
High-conflict people are very difficult to deal with because they tend to be arrogant, full of ego, argumentative, aggressive, unwilling to admit when they're wrong, very willing to admit that we're the problem, not them. So how do we approach these people to try to navigate our needs? We start with empathy, attention and respect, regardless of whether or not we feel they deserve them.
Accept What You Can't Change and Stop Complaining
The Serenity Prayer reminds us to accept the things we cannot change, to have the courage to change the things we can, and to have the wisdom to know the difference. And I have added that when you are accepting the things you can't change, don't complain about it. Complaining is actually a demonstration that you are not in acceptance, and only makes everything worse.
Psychosomatic Illness Is About Your Mind Attacking Your Body
Unconscious thoughts are converted into physical symptoms. What you think matters!
Is There A Healthy Way To Deal With A Compulsive Liar?
The healthiest way to deal with a compulsive liar is to have nothing to do with them. But if that is not possible, the next best thing is to keep a safe distance from that person in your head. That means: Do not trust them. Do not assume they are telling you the truth. As Ronald Reagan once said, "Trust but verify."
Avoid Toxic People, Places and Circumstances
Be vigilant as to where you go and who you spend your time with. They all contribute to the reality you manifest.
How To Be Successful: Control Your Emotions
When we feel affronted or abused in some way, our first impulse is to lash out, to attack back, to say or do something to get even. This is usually not in our best interests. This usually has unintended consequences that compound the problem. Best we stay cool, stay calm, and think before we leap into action so that we respond in the most appropriate and effective way for the greatest good of all concerned.
Catastrophic Thinking Isn't Thinking. It's Terrorizing Ourselves.
We terrorize ourselves with our fear thoughts. We exaggerate them and build on them to the point of actually believing they're likely to happen (which they usually aren't) and then we react with intense fear, panic, desperation, demoralization, etc. in anticipation of them happening. Best not to react to terrible things until they are actually happening. Prepare for the worst but don't live in perpetual daily dread of the future. Be here now. Find happiness today despite life's difficulties.
Let Go Of Resentments and Thoughts of Vengeance
Hanging onto resentments, vengeance, anger and unforgiveness hurt you more than those who have victimized you. Free yourself from the emotional baggage of the past and live in the present moment with joy, gratitude, and inner peace.
Disengage From The Drama Of Your Life.  Set Boundaries
Many of us seem to thrive on drama despite the fact that the end result is just about always unpleasant in one way or another. If we wish to eliminate the drama caused by others or ourselves, we need to set boundaries with others and ourselves, and maintain them. If we do this consistently, we send the message to others and ourselves that we are serious about the changes we want in our lives and the elimination of the drama and the chaos. The end result is usually emotional stability, happiness, inner peace, better health, and more successful, sustainable relationships.
Stop Crazy-Making Thoughts and Catastrophic Thinking
We make ourselves crazy by indulging crazy-making thoughts. We make ourselves anxious and terrified by inventing a cascade of ever-increasingly frightening future possibilities that are extremely unlikely to happen and then reacting to them as if they are certain to happen and that we will be helpless to deal with them. Point being: We have a choice to terrorize ourselves with our thoughts, to be a victim of our thoughts, to be controlled by our thoughts -- OR-- to control our thoughts and discard those that we do not need to think about or fear.
The Power of Forgiveness: How To Forgive Someone Who Keeps Abusing You
When someone keeps abusing you and you are not able to eliminate that person from your life, you first remember that you forgive others for your own peace of mind. And then you find ways to see them differently so as to make it easier for you to forgive them.
How To Defeat Loneliness
Loneliness isn't about not having friends or not having a significant other. There are plenty of people with friends and significant others who are terribly lonely. Loneliness has to do with feeling disconnected from humanity. So what's the solution? Watch the video.
Letting Go Of Baggage
Letting go of baggage is a choice. First, you choose to recognize your baggage rather than be in denial about it. Second, you choose to recognize that you have the power to let go of your baggage and make better choices. Third, you make better choices. Fourth, you repeatedly, consistently, persistently make those better choices until you have extinguished your self-destructive self-definitions and replaced them with healthier ones.
Why We Don't Set and Maintain Boundaries With Abusive People In Our Lives
Many of us don't set and maintain boundaries with abusive people in our lives because we fear that rather than cooperate with what we are asking of them, they will choose to end the relationship, which then brings up issues of abandonment within us which generates anxiety and perhaps depression as well which we fear we will not be able to deal with. Consequently, the abuse continues, our emotional needs continue to be unmet, and we experience ongoing anger, resentment, and dissatisfaction.
Relationships - You've Got To Know When To Fold 'Em
Many of us stay in relationships way too long, way past the point where there is any real hope that things will change for the better and provide us with the satisfying, sustainable relationship that we desire. It is often the fear of loneliness that keeps us in the relationship. Perhaps the dread of having to start the process over again of searching for and finding a loving partner. As the red flags in the relationship pile up, we sweep them under the rug. Perhaps we have outbursts of anger on a regular basis. Perhaps we have resentments simmering below the surface. Either way, we're not happy. And perhaps we could be if we chose to cut our losses and move on. Not an easy decision to make but perhaps a worthwhile one in the long run.
Extend Love To Toxic People Despite Their Emotional Abuse. #wisdom #spirituality #lawofattraction
A number of people have challenged the idea of extending love to toxic people, narcissists, sociopaths, etc., claiming that these people can't change and you're only inviting more toxicity and emotional abuse. Let me clarify that we extend love to others, we forgive others, not to change them but to free ourselves from the emotional baggage that goes with hanging onto anger, resentments, grievances, etc. We forgive others for our own peace of mind. It doesn't mean we have to hang around toxic people (even if they are family members), tolerate toxic relationships, or have toxic people in our lives to any degree. Extending love and forgiveness to toxic people doesn't mean we are letting them off the hook and that they shouldn't be held responsible for their behavior. Extending love to others can be a very transformative experience for all concerned. But the bottom line is this: Our happiness, our inner peace are a consequence of the choices we make. And one of those choices is to do the best we can to forgive, love and accept others unconditionally and despite how they are behaving. It's a tall order. It's something we should aspire to. It is the formula for inner peace and eventually world peace. This is wisdom, my friends. This is the core of spirituality and universal truths. To love ye one another. To treat others as we wish to be treated. And, interestingly, when we do these things we are actually engaging the Law of Attraction in the most positive of ways to attract the life circumstances we desire, whether they be about our health, our happiness, our relationships or our prosperity. Please subscribe to this channel. Please share these videos with your friends. Please check out my website: https://walterjacobsonmd.com where you can download a FREE e-BOOK on HOW TO SUCCEED AT RELATIONSHIPS Please check out my book, FORGIVE TO WIN! - End Self-Sabotage and Create The Life You Want: https://amzn.to/2QhKLSs
The Only Thing To Regret Is Having Regrets
It is best we unload our regrets. They are worse than a waste of time, they keep us stuck in the past, they keep us depressed, anxious, angry, sick in mind and body. No good comes from regrets. Best to let them go and spend our time and energy being in the Now, experiencing as much joy and peace as we can in every moment of every day with every interaction we have with the people and world around us. Best to look forward with optimism rather than backward with sadness and remorse. Best we use the past to make better choices today so as to manifest a satisfying and prosperous future for ourselves and our families.
Pay Attention To Red Flags. Take Action.
We ignore the red flags in our lives and then we complain how unfair the world is when our lives don't work the way we want them to. The time to respond to the handwriting on the wall is immediately upon seeing it, not days, weeks, months or years later after suffering the consequences of inaction.
Narcissistic, Borderline and Other Personality Disorders
A very brief and simplistic overview of Personality Disorders. I left out the Anti-Social Personality Disorder. People with this disorder are better known as sociopaths. They have no conscience or empathy for others. They are con men, criminals, sadistic abusers and murderers. Many of them appear very charming and likable on the surface. Others you can spot a mile away as people to stay away from.
Why We Are Irritable and What We Can Do About It
There are many things that can cause us to be irritable: Low blood sugar. Stress. Chronic pain. Depression, Anxiety. Our need to be in control. And many other things. When we are irritable, we tend to take it out on others and this abuse can lead to relationships failing. Consequently, it behooves us to recognize when we are irritable and do the best we can to address the causes and control our irritation so it does not leak out onto other people.
Active Listening: How To Communicate More Effectively and Improve Interpersonal Relationships
Active listening is a valuable communication skill. By learning how to effectively listen, reflect back what you think you heard, and get confirmation, misunderstandings are eliminated, fights don't happen, and relationships have a greater potential to thrive.
How To Effectively Manage Emotions, Get Off Psychiatric Drugs, and Create The Life You Want
If it's true that most people take psychiatric medications because of difficulties regulating their emotions, anxieties and impulses, then when they are taught skills to effectively self-regulate, they will no longer need to depend upon and can safely taper themselves off their psychiatric medications. The Wellness Forum's new program, "Emotional Wellness 101," was specifically designed for this purpose. It can also be used to great benefit by people who are not on psychiatric medications but are dissatisfied with their lives and their relationships. With emotional wellness skills, people can effectively manage their emotional life, end self-sabotaging behaviors, and achieve sustainable happiness. Dr. Pam Popper's interview with Walter E. Jacobson MD, discusses "Emotional Wellness 101" in more detail: http://www.wellnessforum.com/Audio/DrPopperInterviewDrWJacobson20130117.mp3 For more information: [email protected]msn.com
How To Overcome Feelings Related To Betrayal.mp4
The best way to overcome feelings related to betrayal is to recognize that harboring negative feelings towards others, regardless of how they have behaved, is a betrayal of yourself, your Higher Self, your Spirit, your Soul. It is our mission here to discover the meaning and power of love and we do that by letting go of judgment and anger, replacing them with acceptance and forgiveness. Mourn the loss of a relationship damaged by betrayal, release the anger, the resentment, the desire for vengeance, find a way to forgive for your own peace of mind.
Don't Isolate. Quiet Your Mind. Conquer Your Ego
When we isolate from others we are avoiding dealing with our problems and we are reinforcing our dysfunctional view of ourselves and our world. Best to engage in the world and learn how to effectively navigate the slings and arrows. Best to quiet our mind, free it of the noise tsunami that bombards us 24/7. Best to conquer our ego which thinks it's us against them, kill or be killed.
What If Everyone Is a Mirror? What If Life Is A Grand Illusion?
What if we are collectively projecting our unconscious beliefs onto the "screen" we call the universe, and then believing that our projections are reality and are independent of the thoughts in our mind?
Don't Say Things You Don't Mean When You're Angry .Don't Threaten Divorce.
It's not a good thing to be cruel when we're angry, to say mean things, to be emotionally abusive... particularly if we don't actually mean what we're saying but are saying it because we want to lash out and hurt the person who we perceive has hurt us. Even worse is when we threaten divorce in the heat of anger. This creates a sense of insecurity in the relationship. It makes the other person not feel safe in the relationship. It makes them feel the love is not unconditional, that "till death do us part" is not to be trusted. And so the entire relationship suddenly is not to be trusted. Better to avoid saying hurtful things just because we have been hurt. Or to threaten divorce to manipulate the person to back down. Best, in general, not to be unloving when we're angry. It's not easy but it can be done. Stay calm. Stick to the facts. Don't call names. Don't threaten divorce. And, by the way, maybe it would be a good idea to get into coupes therapy.
Stop Complaining. It's Abusive and Draining.
Let me clarify that complaining has its place. It has its purpose. It has value. However, many of us complain to a much greater degree than is necessary or helpful. It becomes our default response to difficult people and circumstances in our lives, to the point where there is barely anything else we talk about. When this happens and complaining becomes a never-ending story with us, we become very negative and unpleasant to be around. We become emotionally abusive. Not healthy for us. Not healthy for our relationships. Best we use complaining as a steppingstone to action, and not simply an opportunity to vent our frustration and vomit our rage all over those we come in contact with.
Respecting The Boundaries Of Others
It is very common for people to set boundaries with others. What is equally common is people not respecting those boundaries. This is a big mistake. Despite our need for closure, for resolving conflicts immediately, it is best that we accept the boundaries others place upon us if we want our relationships to thrive, because when we breach boundaries set by others it creates resentments and hostilities that often lead to the total breakdown of those relationships.
Love Is Action - Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Actions speak louder than words. It is not enough to tell someone you love them. You need to show it. They need to know it. By your actions will they know it. By your actions will your their love for you grow and your relationships thrive.
How To Deal With Depression
It can be said that many people have a chemical imbalance and genetic predisposition towards depression, anxiety and anger. However, there are many people where these components are not the prime movers of their conditions. Either way, the advice in this video might be helpful.
Dealing With Denial In Yourself And Others
On one level, denial is an unconscious defense mechanism to discharge anxiety. On another level, however, it's a choice. A mind game we're playing with ourselves.
Don't Ignore Red Flags In Relationships
Pay attention to the red flags in relationships. If you have a sense, an intuition that something isn't right, that the answers you're getting don't really make sense, don't sweep your suspicions under the rug. Face the music. Confront your fears. Confront your red flags. Ask questions. Because if you don't, then the red flags are likely to reveal themselves down the the road after you have invested a great deal of yourself, your time, and your resources in an ultimately unsatisfying and unsustainable relationship.
Happiness Is An Inside Job
Happiness is a choice. It is not dependent on external circumstances. There are people who have blessings in their lives and are not happy. There are people who suffer ongoing adversity and are happy. Happiness is a choice.
The Forgiveness Diet - How To Forgive To Win!
Unconditional forgiveness is necessary. Unconditional forgiveness is extremely difficult. The Forgiveness Diet is a daily regimen of thoughts and actions to help people release judgments and resentments, embrace love and acceptance, and make forgiveness a daily habit. The Amazon Best-Seller "Forgive To Win" can be purchased at: http://amzn.to/v4Xx1q
Setting, Maintaining & Respecting Boundaries
When we fail to set boundaries or set them and fail to maintain them, we make ourselves victims of those who need boundary setting. When we don't set and maintain boundaries, and then complain about the subsequent abuse, we are reinforcing our victimhood and not taking responsibility for what happens to us. When we don't set and maintain boundaries, we need to understand why and to address those issues. When others have set boundaries with us and we do not respect them, regardless of how justified we may believe ourselves to be, we are, nonetheless, victimizers, bullies and abusers. When we don't respect boundaries, we need to understand why and to address those issues.
The Ultimate Prosperity Principle
An overview of Forgive To Win!'s 90-Day Forgiveness Diet: a daily regimen of cognitive tools and spiritual techniques to eliminate self-sabotaging behaviors getting in the way of one's happiness, health, prosperity and success. Order your copy of Forgive To Win! today at: http://amzn.to/v4Xx1q
Feelings Aren't Facts: Don't Make Assumptions and Act On Them
When someone says something and we feel they are attacking us, we assume the feeling is a fact, we get defensive and angry, we attack back. But oftentimes the feeling is irrational, it's based on our insecurities, our low self-esteem, and if we take the time to not react, to look at the data, we may discover that we are misinterpreting, overreacting, catastrophizing, and that we don't need to go there. If we make this choice, we are happier, our relationships are healthier, our lives get better.
Defense Mechanisms Damage Relationships
Defense mechanisms like denial, displacement, projection. and rationalization damage relationships and make it difficult to repair them because they interfere with effective communication. Gaining insight into the ways our unconscious defense mechanisms rule our perceptions, thoughts, feelings and behaviors allows us to be more objective and honest in our discourse with others, the end result being greater understanding, compassion and healing.
Beware of Experts, Pundits and Critics
Many people are extremely sure of themselves. They insist that their view is the correct view. They insist that their judgment is the correct judgment. They insist that their interpretation is the correct interpretation. They don't leave room for debate to consider the possibility that they might be mistaken.Their job is to convince us that they are never mistaken, that they have all the answers, that they have the secret. Oftentimes this leads to a grandiose ego living in a bubble with blinders on. Underneath it all is insecurity, fear and weakness. We don't have to behave this way. Open-mindedness can and should prevail. Bottom line: Best we take everything we hear from an expert, pundit or critic with a grain of salt. Trust, if we wish, but verify. And think for ourselves.
Stop Re-Living The Past and Fearing The Future
We beat ourselves up with thoughts of guilt, shame and failure from the past. We terrorize ourselves with catastrophic fear thoughts about the future. In other words, we make ourselves miserable. It doesn't have to be that way. We can discipline our mind so that we are in control of our thoughts rather than being victimized by them. It takes vigilance and practice to do this. To Be Present in the Here and Now. It's not easy. But it's worth it because that's where the real fun is. That's where the joy and spontaneity of Life Happens.
How To Recover From Depression
Many people believe they are a victim of their depression. So overwhelmed with depression, fatigue, the desire to isolate from others, and the loss of interest, drive and motivation, they look to medications to pull themselves out of the doldrums and, oftentimes, don't do the things they could do, though difficult to do, to change their mood and lift their spirits.

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