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A year ago, I made a video about making yourself more date-able. Since I'm sure you followed all my advice to the T, I think we should move on to what you should do - and not do - on the first date.
Number 1: Don't tell your family secrets. When you go on a first date, it's like when you test the water in the bathtub before you jump in. Or, if you're in a foreign country and someone puts a plate of unidentifiable food in front of your face - you're probably just gonna take a little nibble. Just a taste. That's what a first date is. It's just a taste.
Therefore, there is no need to talk about everything and anything. Just cover the basics. Keep it light.
Do NOT - DO NOT - talk about:
Estranged family members
Estranged family members in prison
Your psychic abilities
The time you got abducted
Your dildo collection
Personal conundrums, conflicts, enigmas or concerns
The time you got drunk and threw up in a taxi and it smelled like mac and cheese
Let's keep the red flags to a minimum. Once you have more of a bond - from additional dates - that bond will help sustain things, and cushion the conversation when some of all this other stuff comes up.
Number 2: Shut up! And I mean that in the kindest, gentlest way. You have two ears but only one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you speak. Don't monopolize the conversation, and give him time to introduce himself, too. It's all about not talking too much - or, on the flip side, too little.
Number 3: Don't engage in self-deprecating chatter. It's not cute. When you're on a date, you're selling yourself. When I bought my iPhone, they told me about all the cool things like Facetime, the high quality screen and all the apps. They didn't tell me that the antena sucks and that the calls would drop every 30 seconds.
Be a good salesperson. If you give him reasons not to make the purchase, you won't come across as humble - you'll come across as insecure and like you're fishing for compliments.
Number 4: when the bill comes, offer to split it. I don't care if you're a gay guy or a girl, it's a really good gesture to make. Don't tell me that you're old fashioned - churning butter is old fashioned. It's the 21st century, make the offer to split the bill.
Number 5: Don't text. Or talk on your phone. The date should be about getting to know each other, and though you might be checking into Foursquare to be mayor of McDonalds, to him - it's going to come across as you ignoring the date. It's rude. Put your phone on silent and keep it in your pocket.
Number 6: Don't eat a miniature meal. Seriously. And this isn't just girls. I've gone on so many dates with guys where he'll just order a side salad with light dressing, no cheese and a diet coke. You might be trying to come across a dainty, but look - I'm not trying to kick it with Skeletor.
Number 7: If the date ends in a kiss - and assuming you follow all this advice, it will - be the first one to pull back. Leave him wanting more. Or, just go upstairs and f him. I mean, to each their own. Do what you do. I'm not trying to play games, but look, the kiss thing works. It's enchanting.
So... all this advice... it's not about not being yourself. Of course you should be yourself on a date. It's just about not giving the guy a reason NOT to date you before he's gotten a chance to know you. When you've started to build a real relationship, and he's had time to get to know you, you can open up about your alien abduction and your Lima bean collection - but let's build a foundation first.
Music - Kevin MacLeod - Cherry Blosson & Itty Bitty 8 Bit